“Porch Monkey Blues”, by Soulmaster665, I’ve got the porch monkey blues/got cum stains on my shoes/just ran out of toilet paper/guess I’ll have to hold it until later…
“The Million Dollar Duck”, a work in progress…These two ducks were resting upon his living room couch, re-watching the ending of Forrest Gump on his tv, when the male duck says to his mate, wait…wait…wait for it…NOW, he says, pointing with an extended wing at the sight of the white feather floating in the wind upon the screen…THAT was (once a part of) ME, he proudly declared, with the illustriously shiny and pointy tip of his ominously magnificent yellow colored bill in the air. While his current mate, AKA the ‘other’ duck went ‘quack’ out of both of her ends out of utter astonishment and obviously uncontrollable admiration. https://youtu.be/gqIXmbgihuQ
“What to name your NON African-American baby”, by Soulmaster665. If it’s a boy, I suggest consider calling him ‘Honkey-boy’. And if it happens to be a girl, why not simply ‘Bubbles’? Give that baby a name that really means something, a name to strive to ‘get down’ to…Next up, “What NOT to name your African-American baby”, by Someone who really wants to try to help you out, as much as humanly possible. https://youtu.be/YP6oAJC-YRo
Emergency weather/FM radio w/flashlight, powered either by internal battery which can either be charged by hand crank, built in solar panel, or USB. Also AAA batteries can be inserted and there is a switch to chose between power by Li-ion, or AAA. Set me back about 25 big ones, and so far has only been useful whenever bored and want to attempt to figure out how to set the clock once again by Chinese instruction manual (no one else around here speaks/reads Chinese either), and also comes in handy whenever I discover I am obviously running out of things to take pictures of… https://pix.sfly.com/R34Sbs
A very disturbing resemblance I happened to notice while I was marching in place, directly on top of the blue painted handicapped symbol within the parking lot. https://pix.sfly.com/xhpbmd
Those damn commie bastards placed a fence around this tree to prevent any further unwanted/undesirable lynchings… https://pix.sfly.com/4BBVJ6
You say garbage, I say garrr-bahh-zshh. Vive la France… https://pix.sfly.com/0b_uA0
Looks just like ‘agua’, doesn’t it? Your people call it ‘water’, but my people call it ‘one part spirits, two parts eau’… https://pix.sfly.com/98n7oP
Everyones fasten your safety belts. The controls within this very time machine are now precisely set to take us back to some unknown century which most apparently includes an exact year ending in ’74… https://pix.sfly.com/NZ-zDE
What instruction manual says: ‘green light on charger indicates battery is fully charged and prepared for next use’. What I found out green light TRULY indicates: either it’s time to ‘GO’ ahead and replace one month old charger, and/or one month old battery… https://pix.sfly.com/SfeMVV
Now that I have arrived on the scene, I can clearly see what the latest problem with your microwave actually is, Miss Dingleberry. You see that blinking green zero on the upper right? That obviously means your unit is still functioning quite properly, but that it’s chosen to go on strike until further notice. I personally recommend you either give in to it’s latest demands, or at least make attempt to negotiate/re-negotiate with this very particularly defiant unit, however frustrating it may become at times. Sorry to have to cut this short, I have an actually important call somewhere else I must tend to. Now then. That’ll just merely be a slight service call fee of only nine hundred, ninety nine dollars, and 99 cents and I’ll be on my merry way…
https://pix.sfly.com/Ffk9SG
Alexa, stand at attention. Alexa, show me yours and I’ll show you mine. Alexa, stop insulting my penis already… https://pix.sfly.com/w8yVq-
‘Dawn’. Because the original brand name ‘simply and utterly ineffective ca ca’ didn’t seem to sell/go over too well during it’s initial test run among most consumers anyway… https://pix.sfly.com/24p26d
Gerber baby food jar opener, designed specifically for WWF & UFC fans alike… https://pix.sfly.com/oKiTjV
(recent idea for prank Craigslist ad) For Sale, one slightly/gently used pot to piss in. Must remove yourself. Only one remaining. Please help… https://pix.sfly.com/2JCDiE
Now I believe I’ve finally figured out what this very pouch is designed for. You put your weeeed in it… https://pix.sfly.com/hU14w3
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/out-of-africa/n10451?snl=1
Latest dirty pic, taken while experiencing most unexpectedly overwhelming, and spontaneously uncontrollable re-occurring impulses and desires… https://pix.sfly.com/AkwiYS
Another one of my many fondest impulse buys of all. I purchased this oven mit on the very day that Michael Jackson passed. And deep down inside, I still find myself at certain times, wildly weeping away out of ever ongoing remorse… https://pix.sfly.com/HvTkYu
My very own little golden book for adults. 