So she wakes me up and complains the toilet isn’t flushing properly. I point at the newly installed garbage can beside the commode and remind her once again that ‘this’ is where the tampons and maxis are supposed to go instead. Then I kick her out the front door before calling an uber to take her to the nearest salvation army shelter before going back to sleep. btw, you probably cannot tell in the picture that the shaved hair fairy paid me a visit in my sleep. I don’t know exactly how this sorta thing continues to happen at age 51 (in human years so far), but even though I don’t have any kids of my own yet (that I know of anyways), it doesn’t seem right that the grownups never receive the same kind of proper treatment we did as kids ourselves. The grownups keep growing poorer while having our hair stolen from us in our sleep, while our illegitimate rugrats just seem to keep getting all the more richer. I just don’t know about that well shaven hair fairy. Not even a single buck under my pillow after I woke up and noticed all my hair had been taken from me once again. Am guessing she’s already at the salvation army now, beating on the door so they know to let her in..and only because they were wise enough to lock the door while they saw her approaching on their security cams..What’s that burning smell all of a sudden? Where did I leave my cigar this time around? Gotsta’ go, later..
My very own little golden book for adults. 