Author: Soulmaster665

Fun with irony.

I laugh all of the way to the bank, but cry very shortly afterwards.

I once read a sign that asked if I had been saved, made no sense.

There are many in this world who consider it a blessing to have such a wonderful job, as an actual/literal slave.

If love is truly all we need, then why is it that we also feel a real (and obvious) need to moan while delivering/receiving it?

I once made the greatest conceivable wish of them all.  A wish to be allowed a limitless supply of  wishes, that would all come true at one point or another.  Now I have to be very careful how and when I choose to utter the words “I wish”, as anything (within reason, of course) included at the tail end of this common phrase will eventually come to life (might ‘slip’ UP).

What goes up, must come down.   In which case, there’s always Viagra.

I’m so happy I could die.  Before coming back to life somehow, in order to be able to do it all over once again.

 

 

8: This original writing of mine is about, oh say..approximately 20 years ‘younger’ than the short stories written upon a tiny pre-blackberry device (had cramps within my fingers for about a month afterwards), found within the “purposely BAD writing” link found here among my other social links.

This is an example of me, being very modest. If I wanted to show some of my finer writings you would be very stunned by the higher profile pseudonyms I invented throughout the past, no one could ever prevent me from sharing with any of you at present.

btw, there are only a gazillion others where this one came from.  All different genres and written very hastily without much thought at all, and selling for a mere dollar a pop at the much younger author’s request…

This original writing of mine is about, oh say..approximately 20 years ‘younger’ than the short stories written upon a tiny pre-blackberry device (had cramps within my fingers for about a month afterwards), found within the “purposely BAD writing” link found here among my other social links. This is an example of me, being very modest. If I wanted to show some of my finer writings you would be very stunned by the higher profile pseudonyms I invented throughout the past, no one could ever prevent me from sharing with any of you at present.

btw, there are only a gazillion others where this one came from.  All different genres and written very hastily without much thought at all, and selling for a mere dollar a pop at the much younger author’s request…

All original jokes written this afternoon.

Poor man’s proctologist to patient: Just look at this mess. What has gotten ‘into’ you? Next patient please.
https://pix.sfly.com/bdRRt_

What did the chiropractor say to the patient? Oh no, your back again..

What did the English peanut farmer say to his White van man? You’re driving me nuts..

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but it had better be a very long ladder.

How do you warm a shivering slug’s belly up during a very cold night? Just pour salt into it’s beer while it isn’t looking.

“Excuse me sir, are you an Indian by chance?”, asked the polite young woman behind the desk at the food stamp office. To which he replied, “Why yes I am. Why do you ask?”.  “Oh, because I am simply supposed to ask those certain sort of questions at different times”, she answered. “Are you a hoe?”, he then asked. “Why do you ask me such a rude, and highly offensive question mister?”, she inquired. “I’m a Slapaho Indian”, he then quickly fired back at her..”and I too must ask certain questions at certain times”..

Just a couple of recent receipts.

Order Detail:
1 40% Off Any Pizza At Regular Menu Price 10.19
Large Original Crust The Works Pizza
Pepperoni , Mushrooms , Spicy Italian Sausage , Black Olives , Canadian Bacon, Extra Cheese , Three Cheese Blend

Total: $10.19

Delivery Fee: $2.99

Total Fees: $2.99

Tax: $1.32

Tip: $2.50

Grand Total: nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine dollars and 99 cents

 

AVG Secure VPN
1-year subscription, 1 computer
Billed annually
$35.88

Subtotal: $59.99
Discount: $24.11
Tax: $1.44
Total: one hundred million billion dollars and 99 pesos