Author: Soulmaster665

Once upon a time, there was a king who named his newborn son ‘dummy’ so that no one would care to harm or kill it, before he eventually grew to assume his properly seated position upon the throne. As it turned out, the king had made a brilliant choice by choosing that very name for his son. No one ever felt anything but pity for the boy named Dummy as he continued to grow, a name that served it’s purpose remarkably well by keeping him out of trouble. One afternoon, while strolling through the village, he decided he was thirsty so he paid a visit to the nearest tavern. “Hey Dummy” said the barmaid “I got your ale right here Dummy”. “Hey Dummy” everyone at the bar exclaimed, but there was a stranger in town also at the bar that day. A beautiful young maiden who asked the question “Why is everyone being so mean and calling him a dummy?”. “That’s his name, his father the king gave it to him”, replied the barmaid. “Oh, the king you say?..”, gasped the clueless stranger. “Yes”, the barmaid continued..”Lord Dung-head”.

And they all lived crappily ever after. = )

So I was born w/a double hernia that wasn’t found until 32, which made me a very mean little kid, meaner teen, and even meaner adult until it was properly diagnosed.  My ‘childhood’ doctor suggested I discontinue murdering those who I once chose to befriend, while instead channeling my energies into something much more productive and meaningful (such as creative writing).   I instantly weighed out the pros and cons of changing my daily ‘feeding’ habits upon my latest and even such potentially similar future victims, and it didn’t take long to see things his way.   So, the next morning in the schoolyard.. I walked up to the very first true ‘survivor’ (among recorded history) I could ever possibly recall, I would allow myself (somehow, someway..), not to knock unconscious then kidnap, kill by starvation or poisoning, or allow to bleed to death (by various already well practiced proven effective methods, both slowly and quickly at different times), and held up a few sheets of paper (before him) upon which I had typed my very first story among the genre of ‘horror’..What’s this?, he asked..

I just killed you, last night I mean..

Oh?..I don’t believe I care to read it then.

Don’t you want to know how I chose to kill you?..Hang onto it and give it back to me at the end of the day.  I want to see what you really truly thought about it..

Hmm, okay then..if I don’t see you here after school then I’ll return it tomorrow sometime.  But no promises about today.

Well..I didn’t see him again until about a little less than a week later as he informed me he had somehow lost the story, but had actually had a chance to read (and re-read it a few times) before misplacing it.   Wanted to know if I would ever consider actually doing those things to his ‘character’ in real life.

Replied I was thinking about possibly reconsidering, since we hadn’t actually seen each other for about an entire week (and had enjoyed every unexpected moment of not having to see him once again, during/throughout the entire course among the meantime).

Next morning, around the same time/place among the school grounds I expected to find him..proudly produced another couple of pieces of typed upon paper.

What’s this?  He asked..

I brought you back to life…

You did?  Why?..

So I could kill you all over again…

The End (or is it?.. ; )

Btw, don’t tell maw n paw kent I might be just slightly off the wagon today as well.lmfao = )

(from, none other than..) The creators behind, the venmo app themselves..

Hi Jeff,

An addition was recently made to your remembered devices on Venmo.

Windows via Chrome on (Tuesday, July 21 at 11:18PM PDT)

If this wasn’t you or you believe an unauthorized person has accessed your account, please immediately reset your password. Then, contact us by replying to this email so we can confirm your account is secure. If’n this was you (in fact) regardless, go right on ahead and fuck your own gawl dern self, anyways.lol = )