My very own little golden book for adults.

If there is actually such a thing as true love, then why do we sometimes feel the need to fight with our soulmates?  I believe it’s simply because humans are somewhat intuitively aware that conflict usually brings people closer together, after the venting is all over with and the dust finally settles.  It feels very good to me (just not very often the case) to apologize for my own individual part of a viciously spontaneous and hurtful argument with my mate, even if I know I was not at all in the wrong to ever have said/suggested the very things I did at the time.

In a nutshell, it feels very good to simply enjoy the overall experience of forgiving and forgetting, while also feeling the rush of being challenged to try not to screw things up all over once again during this occasionally/inevitably/eventually unavoidable process.   This is perfectly normal, even among two individuals who are seemingly meant for each other.

Here’s a friendly word of advice for the other guys out there who have already made the exact same mistake(s) I have among the past.  If you ever happen to come to the sudden realization that it is indeed too late to ever be able to possibly resolve what will always be known as your final conflict with your now/new, always to be considered your former mate in life forevermore, there is still one remaining way of rectifying this particularly troublesome situation, at least for your own self anyway…

Simply say it with flowers.  Adieu, Mon Cheri.  ꧁꧁꧂꧂

If there is actually such a thing as true love, then why do we sometimes feel the need to fight with our soulmates?  I believe it’s simply because humans are somewhat intuitively aware that conflict usually brings people closer together, after the venting is all over with and the dust finally settles.  It feels very good to me (just not very often the case) to apologize for my own individual part of a viciously spontaneous and hurtful argument with my mate, even if I know I was not at all in the wrong to ever have said/suggested the very things I did at the time.

In a nutshell, it feels very good to simply enjoy the overall experience of forgiving and forgetting, while also feeling the rush of being challenged to try not to screw things up all over once again during this occasionally/inevitably/eventually unavoidable process.   This is perfectly normal, even among two individuals who are seemingly meant for each other.

Here’s a friendly word of advice for the other guys out there who have already made the exact same mistake(s) I have among the past.  If you ever happen to come to the sudden realization that it is indeed too late to ever be able to possibly resolve what will always be known as your final conflict with your now/new, always to be considered your former mate in life forevermore, there is still one remaining way of rectifying this particularly troublesome situation, at least for your own self anyway…

Simply say it with flowers.  Adieu, Mon Cheri.  ꧁꧁꧂꧂

Everybody stay cool, we’re almost at the very top.  Only 15 more days and we’ll be over the top, and finally be free of this infernal hellhole of a parking lot forever.  Shhhhh, hold on a minute..did anyone else hear that?  I think we’re being watched, everyone hold perfectly still until I say I think it’s safe to move.  Never mind.  False alarm.  It’s just that really creepy guy who always talks to himself, along with his camera once again.  Hey buddy, yeah you up there..wanna’ race?  Catch us if you can..

And the little engine puffed-and-puffed-and-puffed.  Damn this is some really good rock, he thought to himself aloud.  He saw the tunnel ahead of him, and the more he puffed-and-puffed the faster he went.   Suddenly he realized he was travelling at almost (but not quite) the speed of light.  I’ll show you how to fit a two mile train into a one mile tunnel, he shouted as he laughed with a very wicked grin upon his face.  The matter which was once a two mile train transformed into photons, as the little train continued to puff-and-puff while still accelerating ever closer to reaching the speed of light.  Those photons that were once solid matter, that were once still perceivable to be a two mile train (now energy particles) not only easily fit into the one mile tunnel, but there was also plenty of available room to spare at this point.  Gee, the little engine thought, I’d like to go even faster..but if I did that I would then reach the speed of light (become light itself) and therefore become infinite.   He also then wondered how he would ever be able to purchase crack again, were he to allow himself to travel at the speed of light and become antimatter.  He forced himself to slow down his puffing, as he concluded that an inescapable eternal existence without plenty of crack rock to smoke was not a very desirable situation to purposely throw himself into. (to be continued… it’s always four-twenty, somewhere among this small world..)

People will wage personal bets on the funniest things sometimes.  Although it seemed like a long shot to me at the moment, I desperately needed to make some quick cash and put all of my money down on the one in the very center (most obviously out-manned/outgunned/outnumbered).  (See below)

And now you know the actual secret behind how I was ever able to become the wealthiest daydreamer upon this planet.  (see below)

Oh, how I do always love to see a happy ending, that is…if and whenever possible.  THE END (or is it really?…) MWAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHHHH = )

Old post updated and fortified with bonus videos, not previously included (the plot thickens).lol

(my favorite version, other than Olivia Newton-John’s) (amendment: actually, earth, wind & fire has a pretty good one as well)

People will wage personal bets on the funniest things sometimes.  Although it seemed like a long shot to me at the moment, I desperately needed to make some quick cash and put all of my money down on the one in the very center (most obviously out-manned/outgunned/outnumbered).  (See below)

And now you know the actual secret behind how I was ever able to become the wealthiest daydreamer upon this planet.  (see below)

Oh, how I do always love to see a happy ending, that is…if and whenever possible.  THE END (or is it really?…) MWAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHHHH = )

Old post updated and fortified with bonus videos, not previously included (the plot thickens).lol

(my favorite version, other than Olivia Newton-John’s) (amendment: actually, earth, wind & fire has a pretty good one as well)

From the very desk of ‘us.’ president of these very ‘us.’ states. Congratulations, you are the very most biggest winner ever of most highly esteemed and recognizable lottery among homeland of New Zealand. Your most important prize winning amount is officially 4.5 million/zillion euros, and it is simply imperative and of utmost importance as well for you to send moneygram at once for us to be able to deliver your winnings to your doorstep in exact amount, hmmm, let’s say 4.6 million euros. Here is a picture of such place where such certain moneygrams may be purchased and sent directly to us in exchange for the very small delivery fee: Do you not now see how legit this important message is for you to take most seriously? Here are the forwarding details for moneygrams you will purchase to insure most speedy and safe delivery of your VERY REAL winnings to you own front door: name:Akbar the magnificent, safe question: is it safe?, safe answer: most definitely. Here is a picture of my friends who are now processing your BIGGEST LOTTERY WINNINGS EVER:

LOCKED IN THEIR CHAIRS Because there are not enough attendants to keep an eye on them, these women at Springfield state hospital are confined in locked chairs day after day. They get no treatment at all. Photo by Robert F. Kniesche

You MUST go to store to purchase monygrams to send to us within 48 hours or we will be forced to anonymously email same message to you yet once again by many different other made up name(s). Do not contact anyone else about this very most important matter, including law enforcement who only pretend in secret to be something they are not. Once we have established the precise location of your exact whereabouts to be able to deliver your very real BIGGEST PRIZE WINNINGS EVER on record at hand, you are invited to come and stay with us for as long as you like at our own private and top secret HQ location. Here are some pics of where we will take you, if you will care to join us:

Now do you finally see that we are to be trusted by you to share with us your own personal info (and you WILL now): List: home address, social security number, phone number, occupation, marital status. Once we have received this very personal/private info from you, as well as the moneygrams we have surely mentioned before we will deliver your BIGGEST JACKPOT WINNINGS EVER directly to your front door. btw, here is the image of my I.D.(easily found below) which you previously requested while we were attempting to obtain the precise whereabouts of your current location (we are still not very sure what you meant/intended by the phrase you replied with: password please?): btw, rest assured that we are not at all most obviously mischievous and meddlsome/pesky spies who are primarily interested in coercing/forcing you into giving up even the smallest portion of your upcoming deliverable lotto winnings we are promising to deliver to your very door, only interested in delivering them to you and you do have our impeccably ever trust-able word on this.  We are a rare sort of people motivated purely and simply of only good intentions that this money be only yours to spend as you like.  NOW do you trust us?…

Yours most assuredly, and may god (his holiest), bless and protect you always and hope to find out where exactly we can find you as soon as possible to deliver to you YOUR money/winnings.

(Editor’s note:  I think his name might be Akbar the ‘magnificent’, or something very similar along those very lines that is fully intended to hypnotize/mesmerize me into divulging the whereabouts of my current location.  Akbar, is it now?.. Well, for the time being anyway..)LMFAO

Extra added bonus: Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me..

Dear 665 guy, if god was so actually so very bright/all knowing and powerful..then why do we mere humans have a real, obviously ongoing need to use toilet paper?  Signed, completely perplexed and befuddled

Very good question, compadre.  To put it to you rather delicately, toilet paper is a very suitable alternative  at all times to having to additionally purchase boxes of kleenex to blow your nose with.  And to be most brutally honest about it, we need toilet paper to blow our noses with sometimes while we are heeding one of nature’s ordinary calls to take a dump, and all that comes out is a phart. It’s obviously not always such an unexpectedly false alarm so, chin up during the meantime.

Next question comes from the ghost of the elephant man himself.  He writes… Dear 665 guy, if god is so smart then why are snails designed to be so nearly darn impossible to eat in the first place?  yrs truly, ghost of elephant man, neverland ranch  p.s. Please save me from the ghost of Michael Jackson, I am imploring of you.  He often claims he owns my very remains while dancing about in circles all around me, as he is most gleefully humming/whistling/singing ‘thriller’.  I swear, one of these days I am finally going to snap, just immediately prior to shouting (you probably guessed it already), POW..right to the moon, Michael(exclamation point)

Wow, what a most astonishingly original and excellent question you do pose, which I will now attempt to do my very best to answer properly.  First off, I am unsure whether you might be referring to snails which can be ordered and prepared at certain finer restaurants (which you simply remove from shell and eat using a fork), or the free kind you find sometimes among your garden.  Assuming you are referring to the latter, I’ll go out on a limb here and take a gander that it’s a most definite sign that god wants you to apply for food stamps one day very, very soon.  Hope this helps. btw, here are some recent snail pics from my place/front doorstep of my latest pad. Just gaze upon this obviously overabundant plethora of readily available and widely assorted free, tasty and tiny morsels..most easily/conveniently located among the confides of the vastly stroll-able, parking lot area(s) alone:
https://pix.sfly.com/1uY9y5

Next question…Dear 665 guy, I was just wondering if it’s at all possible to talk to the dead?  I mowed this guy’s lawn and he had a heart attack and died before he could ever pay me what he owed me (certain unfinished business to tend to).  Also, if indeed possible..could you clue me in on the necessary steps to insure a most successful procedure?  I really need my money badly since the place where I used to sell my plasma closed up shop for good.  Many thanks..signed, one very freshly phucked fox in a forest fire

How to talk to the dead, step by step.  First, pick a grave.  Second, start flapping your gums as you ordinarily would while having an ordinary conversation with say, your probation officer (example).  And believe it or not, that’s simply all there is to it.  However, if the purpose of your visit at the cemetery is to attempt to settle an old argument with the deceased..I highly recommend you bring along with you a paper bag to place over your head before you decide to get ugly with screams and shouts of pent up anger and/or bitter hatred.  The reason I would like to caution you in such an unobvious, yet meaningful manner is merely out of my own personal respect for the dead.  What is the reason for wearing the bag over your head as I have recommended, you may be asking yourself?..Quite simply put, you might just scare the shit out of all of those poor dead people within close proximity of the one you are attempting to argue with/loudly voice complaints to (perhaps even most vulgarly at times), and there’s no known luxury such as toilet paper in hell.  Think of all of those poor, dead people rolling around in their graves full of freshly laid caca simply as a direct result of your inability to control yourself.  So yeah, bring a bag along (for phuck’s sake) to cover your rearing, ugly head with, if this does indeed happen to be you, in your particular case.

And now..a funny meme (to me anyway), which I most self-admittedly made in very poor taste (at least partially for that matter), this afternoon.

A very fun and useful linky.

(For those among you who are as blind as I am regrettably, caption below simply reads “Disturbing Resemblance”;-)

A very fun and useful linky.

(For those among you who are as blind as I am regrettably, caption below simply reads “Disturbing Resemblance”;-)